Almost every marriage in Zambia starts with premarital counselling sessions to help plan how to resolve the issues that will arise during their marriage. As the couple get closer to the wedding day, counsellors, friends, or family might mention “Shipikisha Club” and sometimes this advice is given to the women only.
Shipikisha Club can be described as facing a lot of challenges in marriage and enduring them regardless of what they are. It is a traditional view of marriage that has been passed on from generation to generation.
Should marriage be a “Shipikisha Club”? Do we have to endure no matter how bad the situation gets? What comes to your mind when you hear the phrase?
Does the “Shipikisha Club” have limits? For example, physical and emotional abuse. Should you stay and work things out? When he or she cheats, should you stay and work things out? When your relationship becomes toxic, should one stay and work it out?
It is obvious couples should not marry believing that everything will be rosy forever. Marital challenges include long-term illness, lack of finances, loss of job, to mention a few. In such instances, it is okay to stay and work things out together.
In a way, the Shipikisha club is meant to convey the seriousness of marriage. Why then does it seem that this is emphasized more to women than men? Shouldn’t men also shipikisha?
Marriage is about love, sacrifice, and commitment between two people and not endurance of things that are harmful to your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health. Couples should experience joy as they choose to be together forever.